Posts Tagged ‘News Report’

Metroplex University Student Still Missing

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

In an update to our report this Friday, the missing student has still not been found. Sergeant Blader with Midgard Security Forces personnel reiterated his earlier statements that the disappearance is “a stupid kid’s publicity stunt.”

Maxwell Newman, a fellow art student, had more to offer when asked about his missing friend. “I know that when he disappeared to the Docks, a stranger helped him. I don’t know that stranger’s name, but if you can help, please meet me on Metroplex U’s Quad as soon as you can.”

Once again, Metroplex’s citizens turn to vigilantes when rebuffed by Midgard Security Forces. No word whether this mysterious vigilante may be connected to The Vigilante or what that might mean for the renewal of MSF’s contract with Metroplex University.

MSF central offices refused to comment on the rising tide of vigilantism, but commended Sergeant Blader as “a model member of the Midgard Security Forces family, with a proven record of getting results.”

This has been your University news report, brought to you by the Happy Hour. It’s always happy hour at the Happy Hour.

Next Up, Eclipse Maulings: Urban Legend or Serial Killer?

Metroplex University Student Disappears

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Late last night a well-known artist disappeared from his dorm room on Metroplex U’s main campus. After stirring up controversy with an art showing that resulted in structural damage to the University’s art museum, he’s continued to make waves by disappearing on several occasions.

His friends relate that this time is different, however. In the middle of the night, while working on his newest painting, they report he was snatched from his dorm room by men in dark suits.

Sergeant Blader with the campus detachment of Midgard Security Forces refused to comment. However, off the record, one of his guards told us not to expect any investigation on the “obvious publicity stunt.” Another suggested it’s only thanks to the guards’ work that “[he] hasn’t taken a bullet to the head yet.”

We asked Maxwell Newman, the undergrad who originally reported the disappearance, his opinion on the guards’ candid statements. He had the following to offer: “I can see why they’d think that. I mean, he’s wandered around a couple times, ending up on the Docks and so forth. But we’re going to give them until Sunday or Monday to realize this is the real deal before we look for outside help.”

Mr. Newman declined to clarify what outside help they might be after.

This has been your University news report, sponsored by the Metroplex University Bookstore, now a proud distributor of OmniCola.